Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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