Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm really busy with my period
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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