**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let's get the cat blown out
Dicks are not precious.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
