Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize