Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have fence marks all over my body
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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