I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
