somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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