It's like a parade of train wrecks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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