I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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