im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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