You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
