who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
