You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
