please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
