so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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