Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
