East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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