My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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