we're blogging at a bar
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
