So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
