he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
