I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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