my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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