yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
