Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
