Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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