So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
