Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
