i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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