it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
