we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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