Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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