i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
