last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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