now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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