Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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