She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
