the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
