fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
