I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
