she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
