Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
