So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
