kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
