We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
