Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
