My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
