Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
