does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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