she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She made me pour olive oil on her.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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