If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
