party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
